Tails Gets Trolled Polished/Script
Stats
- Character count: ~49500
- No spaces: ~41300
- Character with most lines: Shadow (184)
- Character with least lines: Nack (1)
Notes
- The descriptions for each scene are lifted from the Polished scripts released on DeviantArt, with some minor edits.
- Pages 33-40 were never drawn, but they were included in one of the scripts released on DeviantArt.
Page 1
(Tails pokes his finger towards a frog. The frog licks Tails' finger.)
TailsHahaha...
(Two figures in the shadows of a cave, are observing Tails.)
Butter TitsOh, look at that noob! What a talentless looking fox!
The Dick TakerHahahahaa..
Tails..Huh? What was that noise!?
The Dick TakerHahahahaa..
Tails..Who's there!?
(Butter Tits & The Dick Taker reveal themselves from the shadows, as they approach Tails.)
Butter TitsYou're a gay retard, you look so stupid.. You're such a friendless ugly noob.
The Dick TakerYou should fix that ugly face of yours, retard!
Butter TitsYou mad? You mad? You look mad, you stupid bitch!
The Dick TakerYeah, she's mad!
(Tails is in shock.)
Butter TitsYou have no talent, you big retarded hoe!
(Tails begins to cry.)
The Dick TakerHahaha! Look! She's crying!
(Tails flees from Butter Tits & The Dick Taker)
Butter Tits..No, come back! We're just playing! Hahaha...
The Dick TakerHahahaaa....
(Tails continues to run while crying.)
Tails...Sonic!
Page 2
(Tails while in tears, confronts Sonic.)
Tails...Sonic!
Sonic...What's wrong!? What happened!?..
Tails.....There were these people, they were calling me names!...
Sonic..They were calling you names?...
Tails....Mhm...
Sonic..Did they hurt you!?
Tails....No..
Sonic..Hmm... Yeah, whenever i went into town the other day, there were some trouble making kids there.. Everyone there were calling them trolls..
Sonic...I remember something about them from what Shadow once told me.. Maybe we should ask him about this..
Tails....Okay..
Sonic..Come on, let's go..
NarroratorMeanwhile
(Two figures in the shadows of a cave, are observing Koopa Mang.)
Butter TitsOh, look at that noob! What a talentless looking turtle!
The Dick TakerHahahahaa..
Koopa Mang..Huh? What was that noise!?
The Dick TakerHahahahaa..
Koopa Mang..Who's there!?
(Butter Tits & The Dick Taker reveal themselves from the shadows, as they approach Koopa Mang.)
Koopa Mang..Oh, hi! My name is Koopa Mang. I was a baddie, but now I'm not! There was a lot of soul searching involved in that, let me tell ya..
Butter TitsYou're stupid, and gay. You should fix that ugly shell of yours, Squirtle!
Koopa Mang...Oh? Well.. I don't know about the stupid or ugly part of what you've just said, but..
Butter Tits..And, you're a friendless ass mouth!
The Dick TakerOh, snap!
Page 3
Koopa MangOh?.. I see how it is!
Butter TitsLook at that faggot! He's crying!
Koopa Mang..Yes, I'm crying!.... Because it hurt.. It hurt real good...
Koopa MangI didn't go through all of that horror, just to be broken down here today!
Koopa Mang..God damn it!...
Butter Tits...Uhh, dude.. I'm sorry man, i was just playing.. I didn't mean anything by it...
Butter Tits..Look man, you want to play some Xbox or something?
Koopa Mang..Nope! It's too late for that now...
Koopa Mang...You done gone and ruined the potential of a wonderful friendship, and maybe even something more..
Butter Tits...Wait, we can start over man!
The Dick TakerYeah...
Koopa Mang...Nope! Yer done fucked the pooch, SIR!! I will take my leave now.... ASSHOLE!! Just shit on someone's heart why don't ya..
Koopa Mang..Now i have to mend the pieces back together...
Butter Tits...I'm sorry man..
Koopa Mang..It's too late for that.... It's just too late....
(Koopa Mang walks away.)
The Dick Taker....Damn, he was cool..
Page 4
Tails....
ShadowHmmm...
TailsAhhhhhhh...
Shadow...What's he crying about now?
Sonic...I think he's been getting trolled.. You said before that you've had some bad tension with some trolls, right?
Shadow...Really? He's crying over some troll's aimless spew?
Sonic...They're calling him names, you know he can't take it..
Shadow...If you stopped pampering him then maybe he could..
Sonic....Look Tails, the way to stop a troll is to become their friend! As their friend, you could show them the right path!
Tails...
Shadow...That's bullshit.. Don't listen to him Tails, that won't work..
SonicWell.. Then how would you deal with a troll, Shadow?
Shadow..Here, I'll show you.
ShadowFuck you trolls!
Page 5
Shadow..Don't worry about it, I'll take it from here.. Hahahaa..
Sonic....There's no need for violence! This problem can be solved without any blood shed, Shadow..
Sonic..Tails, don't listen to anything Shadow has to say..
TailsOkay...
Sonic..And I'm ashamed of you Shadow... I thought you were changing, i guess i was wrong..
Shadow..Sonic... Sometimes there is a need to do what's needed.. If it were up to me? Eggman would be dead, so we wouldn't have to live in fear..
Sonic....There's no need for violence! This problem can be solved without any blood shed, Shadow..
(Shadow glares at Sonic.)
Shadow..You know I'm right..
Sonic...The ones who trolled Tails are probably just misunderstood kids though..
Shadow..Does it matter?
Sonic...Yes it does, Shadow..
Shadow...Bullshit..
Tails..Tails come, i will talk with these kids and stop this hate, with kindness..
Shadow..That's not going to work Sonic... Tails, trust me when i say this! I know what I'm talking about..
Tails..I don't know... Maybe Sonic is right..
Shadow..Go ahead and leave then, you'll find out the hard way..
Sonic..Come on Tails..
TailsOkay...
(Sonic and Tails leave the area.)
Shadow..Dumbasses will learn..
Page 6
Shadow...I think I'm going to call Knuckles over, i need to get high...
Amy...Shadow?
Shadow..What is it?
Amy..Where are they going? ..Sonic didn't even tell me that he was leaving...
Shadow...Don't drag me into your drama, woman.. They left to deal with some kids who trolled Tails earlier..
Amy....Thanks..
Shadow..By the way, I've noticed that you and Knuckles talk often.. So i must ask, do you know where he disappears off to, hm?
Amy...I don't talk to Knuckles.. He confronts me to ask if i want to smoke weed with him, and i keep telling him to leave me alone, that's all..
Shadow..Bullshit! You know why he bothers you.. Hell, I'm pretty sure that everyone knows why he's always near you, at this point..
Shadow..Though i wouldn't be surprised if Sonic were in denial of this, kind of like you are right now huh?
Amy...Whatever Shadow, i thought you didn't want to be brought into my so called "Drama"? If so, then fuck off..
Shadow..I wouldn't be so flattered if i were you, i couldn't find it in myself to give two shits about you or your pathetic drama.. Knuckles is my friend, and i care about what happens to him..
Shadow..I'm completely aware that you know what's happening to him... So you need to tell me right now! Cut this clueless bimbo act and take this shit seriously!
Amy..Fuck you, prick! I don't know what that man child's up to, so stop asking!
Shadow..You want to act like that, then fuck you!
Amy..Just leave me alone...
Shadow..Fuck you Amy..
VectorHmm... So, hey guys! I see that you both are fighting again...
Page 7
Vector..I'm actually kind of confused about who's dating who, you all fight like you all are dating..
Amy....
Shadow...What do you want, Vector?
VectorI wanted to ask Sonic if i could have some of that jerky that he made. That shit's the bomb! Hahahaa..
Shadow...Just fucking take it, he can make more..
Vector..Sweet! Tell him that i said thanks!
ShadowSure..
Vector..Oh and the Pink Guy needs the other wrench, he said that he will have Tails' plane back up and going again by tomorrow..
Amy..You can feel free to take what you need, Vector.. I will let Sonic know whenever he returns..
VectorThanks again.. So Amy, how's everything been going? You haven't stopped by in awhile.. I hope things aren't too hectic over here..
Shadow...Hahaha...
Amy...Shut up..
Amy...I'm sorry Vector, things here have been crazy and i haven't had the time to come visit... How is Cream?
Vector..She's been doing well, she misses you..
Shadow..Are you sure it's Cream who misses her?
Vector...
Amy..Shadow, SHUT UP!..
Shadow..Hahaha...
Amy...I'll come by soon, okay?
Vector..Yeah? Ok, alright. We'll see you then..
Page 8
(Two figures in the shadows of a cave, are observing Toad.)
NarroratorMeanwhile
Butter TitsOh, look at that noob! What a talentless looking Mushroom!
The Dick TakerHahahahaa..
Toad..Huh? What was that noise!?
The Dick TakerHahahahaa..
Toad..Who's there though!?
Toad...Hi? ..Have you seen a man in a red jump suit and hat, by any chance?
The Dick TakerWell duh..
Butter TitsYeah, we seen him sucking on your mushroom!
ToadPardon?..
Butter TitsYou're gay and an ass licker, and you're gay!
The Dick TakerYou're so gay!
TailsThey're over there!
(Toad while crying, runs passed Sonic and Tails, as they both look at Toad in confusion.)
Butter Tits..Man.. I'm running out of things to say..
The Dick TakerYeah... There's been a lot of people walking in front of our cave today..
Butter Tits..If i would have known before i wouldn've prepared a little more...
The Dick TakerYeah... There's been a lot of people walking in front of our cave today..
Sonic..Excuse me...
Butter Tits..Hm?
(Sonic and Tails Confront Butter Tits and The Dick Taker.)
Sonic..May i have a word with you both?
Page 9
Sonic..What you both said to my friend was really hateful, and i would like an apology..
The Dick Taker..Hey man, look! That dumbass fox brought his gay friend to try and talk to us!
Sonic..Gay? I'm not gay... I have a girl friend.. Listen, i would like it if this conflict were to end in peace..
Butter TitsYou're an ugly, friendless, retarded, fagot, NOOB! Trollololol..
Sonic...You must not know who i am.. I have a lot of talent and a lot of friends, one of those friends are standing right beside me..
Sonic..Therefore, what you're saying isn't true.. So I'm not offended by your miscontrued and hateful comments..
Butter Tits..Retard, You're so stupid..
Sonic..Why don't we just be friends? This isn't going anywhere..
Butter TitsI bet your girl friend is a stupid cow and, a town slut! She really nows how to take it by a man!
Sonic...
Butter TitsYour girl friend's a stupid hoe and because of that? You're gay with that retarded fox!
Sonic..Ehhh... I'm just going to ignore what you've just said and ask you this, one more time.. Let's end this hate, and become friends.. What do you say?..
Butter TitsYour girl's a bitch and you're a retard!
Sonic...Tails, let's get out of here..
TailsOkay...
Page 10
VectorHey guys, I'm back! I got the good stuff!
Pink GuyOh... Oh, yes... That Jerky.. God damn Sonic, that jerky though...
Pink Guy..Well, it's not as good as chili dogs from the Branch Cranch, but it will do.
Cream..Mmm, i love the Branch Cranch...
Pink Guy..By the way, did you get me that wrench?
VectorYeah, here!
(The wrench clashes with Pink Guy's hand.)
Pink Guy...AHHHHH!! Man!
CreamOh...
VectorUhh, sorry man..
Pink Guy....It's a fucking wrench man, why are you throwing it!? Jesus..
Vector...Mybad..
Pink Guy...
Pink Guy...That fucking hurt man..
CreamDon't be a wuss!
Pink Guy...Look at my finger!!
(Pink Guy lifts his hand up and reveals that one of his fingers are bent completely backwards.)
Page 11
Cream..Oh my God....
Vector....Uhh, oops..
Pink Guy...Dude, seriously? Why did you throw it!?...
(Pink Guy grabs onto his finger with his other hand.)
Pink Guy...
(Pink Guy bends his finger back into place.)
Pink Guy....GOD DAMN IT!!!
Vector...I'm so sorry man! I didn't mean to! I thought you were going to catch it!
Pink Guy..IT'S A FUCKING LARGE WRENCH!! ..IT WEIGHS LIKE 25 POUNDS!!... My hands aren't as big as yours, you dick!..
Vector...Well, uhh... Yeah, good point...
Pink Guy..It's whatever man, it's whatever...
Cream...Not to change the topic but, how's Sonic and Tails doing? I miss them..
Vector..I have no clue what they're doing... They were gone when i got there, but Shadow and Amy were fighting again.. There's like, always some sort of drama going on over there..
Pink Guy..I was talking to Sonic earlier, something was bothering him.. I think him and Amy are fighting more than usual..
Cream..It's probably about Amy and Knuckles...
Vector..What about Amy and Knuckles?..
Cream..They've been talking a lot, from what I've noticed anyway..
Pink Guy..I think they've been fucking..
Vector..Huh!? ..Why would they be doing that!? She's with Sonic!!
Pink Guy..I don't know man, This shit does happen... I'm just saying, it looks like something is going on.. Chill man, chill..
Vector...
Cream..Let's not bring her up, i don't want to talk about her anymore..
Emerl..I'm a robot...
Pink Guy...Shut up Emerald..
Pink Guy..I'm still trying to fix him..
Vector..I think that Shadow might know something.. I'll be right back then... I'm going to have a talk with Shadow!..
(Vector leaves the area.)
Page 12
Pink GuyCream...
Pink Guy..You know You're torturing yourself.. You gotta tell Vector how you feel, don't hold it inside anymore..
Cream..I can't compare to Amy... Her vagina has a gravitational pull for penises.. She's a slut! There's no competing with that..
Pink Guy..Yeah, she is one hardcore butt slut..
Pink Guy..It's like I'm the only one who doesn't want a piece of that, delicious cherry Pie.. Mmm, Mmm, Mmm!
Cream...What?..
Pink Guy..Uhh... I mean, ew.. Nasty Bitch.. Amy! Not, not you.. In case you were confused.. I meant that Amy's the nasty bitch..
Cream..Yeah, i got that..
Pink Guy..You know... Me and you could like, you know? Get together.. Uhh, we could go to the Branch Cranch, or something... What do you say?
Cream....Pink Guy, i just don't see you that way.. You're like a brother to me...
Pink Guy..Oh... So just to clarify, I'm the type of brother you don't want to fuck, right? Like some hick or Japanese shit?
Cream...No, sorry.. It would be too weird..
(Cream walks away.)
Pink Guy...
Emerl..I'm a robot!
Pink Guy...Shut up Emerald..
Pink Guy..You know what? Fuck this, ima get me some of that delicious cherry pie!
Page 13
NarroratorMeanwhile
KnucklesHey man, how's it going?
ShadowAbout fucking time..
Knuckles..Don't worry! I got the good stuff this time.. My dealer was on a run, i had to wait..
Shadow..You better have some good shit, I'm tired of all that ditch weed..
Knuckles..I get high grade stuff now, look! It's called Banana Kush.
Shadow..Hmm.. Where did you get this from?
Knuckles..My dealer has better connections now man! I call this my smart weed.
Shadow..And who is your Dealer?
Knuckles..Oh man, don't worry about it! He's cool he gets good shit..
(Shadow grins.)
Shadow..By the way, Amy was talking about you earlier..
Knuckles...
Knuckles..Oh yeah? ..What did she say?
Shadow..She's been telling me all about the drama that you've been dealing with..
Knuckles...Oh, did she?
Page 14
Shadow..You should have told me man.. I thought we were friends...
Knuckles...I'm sorry man, things are just getting out of control..
Shadow..I can help you know?..
Knuckles..Oh, no you can't... Not with the history that you both have..
Shadow..What?
Knuckles..Wait, oh shit.. Amy didn't tell you, did she?
Shadow..Damn it..
Shadow..Just fucking tell me!..
Knuckles...Oh no, you'll only make it worse, Shadow..
Shadow..That's bullshit!
Knuckles..I'm telling you man!
Shadow...
Knuckles..Oh hey Sonic, you're back! How's it going?
Sonic..I'm so mad! I'm going to go have sex with my girl friend, so i won't be so mad!
(Sonic walks away.)
Knuckles...Oh..
(Knuckles appears depressed.)
Shadow..Don't be a pussy, you know that what you and her have is meaningless..
Knuckles...
(Tails pounds on a tree. He is upset and in tears.)
Tails..Egghh..
Shadow...Ok, I'm going to take a random guess and assume that you both failed with that peace crap, am i right?
Tails...You were right Shadow..
Shadow..I fucking knew it!
Page 15
Knuckles...What are you guys talking about?
Shadow..They've been getting trolled..
Knuckles..Oh Tails, You have nothing to worry about.. Shadow is good at dealing with trolls, I've seen it!
Tails..Alright Shadow... Can you help me deal with these haters?..
ShadowAbsolutely.. But before we begin, i need you to describe them to me.. What did they look like?
Tails...Uhhh.. One was fat, the other one was tall and skinny.. They wore pink and purple clothing..
KnucklesOh, that's gay.. Reminds me of a person i know, his name is Doug.. He swares that he isn't gay but we all know... We all know..
Shadow..How fat are we talking here? Does he go to Burger King every so often or does he go there every day, kind of fat?
Tails...Uhh, i don't know..
Shadow....Like, does he crack the scale or just break it?
Tails...Umm.. I don't know..
Shadow..Damn it Tails...
Shadow..Is he really fat!?
TailsUhh, Umm.... Uhh, yes?
Shadow..Excellent!
ShadowOk, now listen closely..
ShadowI'm going to show you how to defeat a troll.. Observe carefully, so you'll know how to do it yourself..
TailsYou both will only watch me.. You will not speak, because that may make it difficult.. Do you understand that?
Tails...Uh, yes! Understood!..
ShadowAlright, Let's go.. Tails, lead us to them bastards!
TailsGreat! You can teach them who's boss, right!?
ShadowHahahaa.. Oh, I'll teach them good!
Page 16
NarroratorMeanwhile
Amy...Sonic, i think that you're overreacting..
Sonic..How could you think that I'm overreacting!?
Amy...
Amy...I'm used to people saying things about me.. Some of it is true, and well.. There's something i need to tell you..
Amy...I never meant to hurt you, you have to know this..
Sonic..Those trolls don't knkow anything.. Calling you a slut? They'll pay.. Hmm! No one says that about you! Why would they do that!? Huh!?
Sonic..What do they know? NOTHING!! Stupid trolls, you're NOT a slut! Damn it.. I can't even think clearly... AHHHH!!
Amy..Sonic... Me and..
(Sonic and Amy stare into each other's eyes. They continue to stare and get closer to each other. Sonic then begins kissing Amy.)
NarroratorMeanwhile
(Vector approaches Sonic's camp.)
Vector..Hmm, where's everyone at?..
Vector..Oh, maybe Amy is here by herself! ..This is my chance!
(Vector approaches Amy's sleep area. He looks down and sees Sonic on top of Amy while they're having sex.)
Amy..Sonic...
(Vector's eyes widen.)
Vector...
(Vector leaves the area.)
Vector...I don't know what to think anymore..
Page 17
(Two figures in the shadows of a cave, are observing Ant Lion.)
Butter TitsOh, look at that! What a talentless looking noob!
The Dick TakerHahahahaa..
The Dick TakerHahahahaa..
(Butter Tits & The Dick Taker reveal themselves from the shadows, as they approach Ant Lion.)
Butter Tits..You're gay, and small, and gay, and... Small!
The Dick Taker..It's a little bit gay...
Ant Lion...What!? Man, fuck you mother fucker! I eat rocks n shit, fuck you!
Butter Tits..Hahaha.. I almost can't even hear it!
The Dick Taker..Hahahahaha! ...AHAHAHAAAHAAAHA!!
Butter Tits..Calm down man...
Ant Lion...Man, fuck ya'll niggas! I'll bite ya'll dickheads off! WANNA FIGHT FOO!?
Ant Lion...COME ON MAN! LET'S THROW DOWN, MOTHER FUCKAS!!
(From a side view, reveals the size difference between Butter Tits & The Dick Taker from Ant Lion.)
Butter Tits...
Tails..They're right over there!
ShadowPerfect!..
The Dick Taker..Hey, do you see that over there?
Butter Tits..Hm?
The Dick Taker..Oh, it looks like a group of Pokemon heading our way..
Butter Tits...It must be new generation shit, becaise i don't know any of them..
Butter Tits..At least their designs are getting better again...
Butter Tits..Oh shit! It's that retarded fox again! And it looks like he brought two more of his gay friends with him..
ShadowHello dickheads, so you're the trolls I've heard about?
Butter Tits..Oh, how cute! It knows how to talk! You're a talentless, retarded faggot! You're really ugly, even for a Pokemon!
The Dick Taker..Oh snap!
Shadow..Oh my God, this is perfect! This will be easier than i thought!..
Page 18
Ant Lion..Oh shit! There's gonna be a fucking fight!
KnucklesWatch and learn, Tails!
Shadow..Tell you what, I'll let you get another one in for free!
Butter TitsWell.. You're stupid and you have no friends!
Shadow..Hey Butter Tits, it looks like you've at a little too much KFC, fat fuck!
Tails..Uhh, Knuckles?.. Is this how you stop a troll?
Knuckles..Nah, he's just playing with them right now.
The Dick Taker..You inbred donkey! You're so ugly, and your friends are ugly too!
Shadow..For an inbred donkey, i can sure fuck your mom hard!
Ant Lion..Yeah!! You tell that dick taker who's mother fucking champ!
Butter Tits...Shut up! You're retarded, ugly noob!
Shadow..Only fat and retarded people repeat the same insults..
Butter Tits...You're stupid, you don't now anything you dumb faggot!..
(Shadow approaches Butter Tits. In a swift dash, he confronts Butter Tits. Butter Tits is in shock.)
Butter Tits....
(Shadow raises his fist, preparing to strike Butter Tits. He then punches him in the face.)
Butter Tits..Agghh...
(Butter Tits hits the ground.)
Shadow..What do you have to say now? You stupid fucking troll!
The Dick Taker...Uhh, i was joking about what I've said to you and your friends before!
(Shadow kicks The Dick Taker in the face.)
The Dick Taker..Egghhh!...
Tails...Shadow! What are you doing!?
Shadow..They can't troll you if they're dead!
(Shadow draws a knife.)
Page 19
Tails..Wait!! No, there must be another way! I can't let you kill them!.. Please, stop!
(Shadow holds a knife to The Dick Taker's throat.)
Shadow..What?... Oh come on Tails, you're starting to sound just like Sonic..
Shadow...I know you have it in you..
The Dick Taker....Oh my GOD!! Fucking HELP ME MAN!!..
Butter Tits....What happened?.. Why does my face hurt?..
(Butter Tits eyes widen.)
Butter Tits...No! Don't kll him!!
Butter Tits..We're sorry!!
Ant Lion..Do it!! Just, DO IT!! MURDER HIM!!
Tails...Shadow, you already stopped them though.. You don't need to kill them... Let's try to find another way!
The Dick Taker..THE RETARDED FOX IS RIGHT!!
Shadow...
Butter Tits...Yeah! We've changed! The retarded fox made us see the light!
Shadow...There isn't another way.. Remember what happened when you and Sonic tried peace?
The Dick Taker...Please... Don't do this! PLEASE!!
Shadow..You can't reason with them.. They're too oblivious!
The Dick Taker....AHHHHH!! HELP ME!!!! HEEEEEEEEEELLLLPPP!!
Tails...But, this is murder.... This doesn't feel right..
Knuckles..It never does, but he's right Tails...
Ant Lion...DO IT!! SLIT HIS MOTHER FUCKING THROAT!!
(Shadow slits the throat of The Dick Taker.)
The Dick Taker....
The Dick Taker...Blehhhh......
(Tails closes his eyes. Butter Tits in in complete shock, with a fearful facial expression)
Page 20
Shadow...And now for the fat one!
Butter Tits...NO!! I'm so sorry! I will never troll again, I PROMISE!!...
Shadow..It's too late for that, fucker!
(Shadow standing over Butter Tits with a murderous grin on his face. He pictures Eggman as he's about to stab Butter Tits. Shadow then stabs Butter Tits int eh chest as blood splatters on Shadow's face.)
Butter Tits...AHHHH!!...
(Shadow stabs Butter Tits twice more, blood splattering on his face. Tails is in shock, while Knuckles smiles. Shadow then delivers a final stab.)
Shadow..DIE!! DIE, YOU FAT MOTHER FUCKER!!...
Ant LionYEAH!!
(Tails and Knuckles are both in shock.)
Knuckles...
(Shadow stabs Butter Tits once more.)
Shadow..Hahahaha!!
Knuckles...Uhh, hey Shadow!? Don't you think you're going a little overboard here?.. Even for you...
(Shadow stands to his feet, over the dead body of Butter Tits.)
Shadow...There, that's how you stop a troll.. Were you paying attention? Hahaha...
Page 21
Ant LionYeah man, i was paying attention and that was SICK!! Hey, don't come over, I'll go over there!
Tails...
Shadow..Hmm, we should probably bury these trolls so no one can ever find them.. We can't leave them here because Sonic might show up at some point..
Knuckles..This isn't the fun part...
Knuckles...Hey Tails, you alright? You're not looking so good..
Tails...
Shadow..He'll be fine...
Knuckles..I don't know man, he looks really out of it..
(Ant Lion begins to climb up Shadow's leg.)
Shadow...It's kind of humourous now that i think about it.. Tails, you cry over mean words but not over dead bodies... Hahaha...
(Ant Lion continues to climb up Shadow's leg.)
Ant Lion...God damn.. These giants, some tall shit...
Knuckles..So Shadow, what do you want to do with these trolls then?
(Ant Lion continues to climb up Shadow's leg.)
Shadow...I have a spot.. It's pretty far from our cmp, so no one will know..
Tails...
Knuckles...Uhh... So w're going to have to drag them far huh?..
Shadow...I know.. I'm dreading it as much as you are.. We're going to have to drag that fatass a pretty long distance.. Maybe i should have planned this better.. He probably weighs like three hundred pounds...
Ant LionHi!
Shadow...What the fuck!?
Page 22
Ant Lion..Yo, on your shoulder!
Shadow...What the hell?...
Ant Lion..What? Never seen an ant before? Man... I'm fucking offended, bitch!
Knuckles..Woah! It's a talking ant, it's like that movie A Bugs Life..
Shadow...Shut up Knuckles..
Shadow...What do you want? I could smash you right now!..
Ant Lion..Woah woah woah, woah! Hold your shit man.. I just came over to tell ya, you're fucking koo.
Shadow...
Ant Lion..You made a fan out of me... See, i fucking love the way you killed that fat mother fucker! Theys was trollin this ant, and i was going bite a motha fucka but... You guys stepped in and slayed a bitch!
Ant Lion..Man, i wanna be like you! Fuck yeah man, fuck yeah! Killing motha fuckas n shit! LET'S DO IT!!
Knuckles..Aww, it's cute.. Can we keep it Shadow? Please?..
Shadow...I don't care..
Knuckles..Sweet, we're going to be homies little guy..
(Knuckles picks Ant Lion up.)
Ant LionSick!
(Knuckles places Ant Lion on his shoulder.)
Knuckles..There you go little buddy!
Ant Lion..Thanks, that saved me like.. Ten minutes?
Knuckles..So what's your name?
Ant LionThe name's Ant Lion.. Niggas be scared!
Knuckles..So you're a lion too? Tht's awesome!
Shadow....Will you guys focus!? We have to deal with these bodies..
Knuckles..Oh yeah! Sorry Shadow..
Ant LionI'll help you out with that!
Shadow...
Shadow..Alright Tails, you carry the skinny twig while me and Knuckles drag the fat one..
(Tails pukes in the grass.)
Page 23
Knuckles...That's sick..
Ant Lion..Punk bitch.. Clean yo self up nigga!
Shadow..Tails.. You probably should have came here on an empty stomach, that's fucking nasty...
Knuckles..Hey Ant Lion? Do ants eat like, throw up? Because that's a lot of food for you..
Ant Lion...Hell no, but ants eat yo mom's pussy!
Knuckles..Oh snap! I like this ant!
Shadow..Alright, let's get to this!
NarroratorMeanwhile
(Five figures are sitting at a large table in the shadows. Two of the figures are bird-shaped sitting on the shoulders of one of the humanoid figures.)
Troll King...Any reason why you chose this location for our meeting, Mr. Clair?
Mr. Clair...I'd rather not be seen by any of your filthy peasants, no offense of course..
Troll King..None taken, I'm fully aware of how disgusting they are..
Troll King..So, to business.. What is it that you need from me?
Mr. ClairWell, Troll King.. I have found the wherea outs of a legendary book titled, The Book of Ryzel.. I must ask you to retrieve it for me..
Troll King..What is in it for me?
Mr. ClairAfter i translate it, i will part with a copy.. All of its secrets, yours as well.. Sound enticing, perhaps?
Troll King..Knowing you Mr. Clair, this book is very special.. But, i need to know that you'll follow through so i suggest this.. Let me barrow one of your legendary birds... I'll return it whenever the deal has been completed.. What do you say?
Mr. Clair..Mm, I'm not for certain.. You can understand my hesitation, can you not?
Troll King..Yes i can.. I am in need of an aerial scout, i am currently searching forThe Words of Death.. Whenever i discover the location, you will be the first to know..
Mr. Clair..If I'm not mistaken, haven't you already learned of it? You do now The Words of Death, correct?
Troll KingIndeed.. But the tribe in which I've learned Them from, are the only ones who can teach them to others.. And they happen to be on the run.. I believe i can find them, I'm on their trail...
Mr. ClairHmm.... Very well, which one of my pookies would you prefer?
(Travous and Lord Thunder Claw jump onto the table.)
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Troll King...I'll pick the red one.
Lord Thunder Claw..Wonderful, you couldn't sustain my magnificence! Truly.
Troll KingHmm..
Mr. Clair..Come, Lord Thunder Claw! Let's not upset our business partners..
Lord Thunder Claw...My apologies, Master...
Mr. ClairThe bird in which you've chosen, is named Travous.. He will serve you well..
Troll King..So we have a deal?
Mr. ClairMm, certainly.. You've given me little reason to doubt your reliability, Troll King..
Troll King..Indeed, likewise..
Troll King..So where is the location of this book?
Mr. Clair..It is in the possession of Toadrake, reciting in Mushroom Kingdom.. Be sure to send someone with tracking abilities..
Troll King...Mauller...
Mauller..Yes Sir?
Troll KingRetrieve The Book of Ryzel!
(Mauller approaches the table and reveals his face.)
MaullerYes Sir!
NarroratorMeanwhile
(Tails carrying The Dick Taker on his back as Knuckles and Shadow drag Butter Tits.)
Knuckles..Man... I'm having troubles lifting this fat guy...
Shadow...Stop your bitching and keep moving!
Knuckles..Ok Shadow!
(Ant Lion dragging a strain of Butter Tit's eye brow hair.)
Ant Lion..You having trouble? Phh, bitch.. Look at me carrying this fatass doughnut roll, like it ain't no mother fuckin problem..
Shadow...
Shadow..I smell shit...
Knuckles...Yeah, I smell it too.. I think he shit his pants...
Shadow...That's just fantastic..
Tails...I don't know what to tell Sonic....
Shadow...Oh, and by the way Tails.. Don't tell Sonic about this, he'll have nothing but his self righteous preaching to spew..
Shadow...We're here..
Knuckles..Oh... I think we fucked up...
Shadow..Why?
Knuckles...Look at this blood trail..
Shadow..Shit...
Page 25
Shadow...Damn it! We forgot to grab the fucking shovels.. We didn't plan this out...
Knuckles..Don't you guys have a couple shovels at your camp?
Shadow..Yeah we do.. Alright so here's what we need to do, i will get rid of this trail while you go and get the shovels... And don't get caught!
Shadow...I mean it! I would rather avoid Sonic having a hissy fit and trying to force feed to us more "Peace is the way" bullshit!
Knuckles..Yeah yeah, i got this! Don't worry about it!
(Knuckles leaves the area.)
Shadow..Tails, stay here and guard te bodies..
Tails...
Ant Lion...Ima go with the red dude.. He might need help carrying some shit..
Shadow...Hmm.. So how do i get rid of this blood trail?..
NarroratorMeanwhile
(Pink Guy is fixing the plane.)
Pink Guy...And..... Done! Wooo! That didn't take as long as i predicted..
Pink Guy..Now they're just going to give me something else to fix... They're all like "HEY!!! Can you fix this!? Because we don't fucking know how!!" And I'm like "SURE!! I'd loooooove to, it's not like i have a fucking life or something..
Pink Guy...They'll be like "Thank you for fixing this for us! But we'll never hang out with you or talk to you, hardly at all!" ...Damn it!
Pink Guy...Well, maybe when i return the plane? Amy will finally get with me.. I can picture it now!...
(Pink Guy begins to fantasize.)
Creepy Fantasy Pink Guy..Here I fixed your plane! I know, I'm awesome... It was really tough but i did it because I'm a strong and handsome stud.. I did it for you, my delicious cherry pie!..
Creepy Fantasy Amy..Thank you Espio! I really appreciate it..
Creepy Fantasy Tails..Hey Espio! You're so badass!
Creepy Fantasy Pink Guy..I know...
Creepy Fantasy AmyTails.. Leave! Me and Espio are busy..
Creepy Fantasy TailsOk..
Creepy Fantasy Amy..I've been waiting for you to return! I'm so into you and stuff... Oh Espio, i need you to fertalize my eggs..
Creepy Fantasy Pink Guy...I know.. I know.. I feel it too, in my penis...
(Amy begins to take off her shirt. The next panel, she is shown with giant anime breasts.)
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Creepy Fantasy Amy..Are you ready to cum all over my giant anime breasts?...
Creepy Fantasy Pink GuyWell... I do have to get back soon, before the president knows I'm missing..
Creepy Fantasy Tails..Aww... Come on Espio, you can do it!
Creepy Fantasy Amy..Tails! I told you to leave!... Wait, okay... You can stay and watch, just this one time...
Creepy Fantasy Tails...Really!? YAY! Get in there and fuck her, so hard!
Creepy Fantasy Pink Guy...Thank you Tails, you've convinced me..
(Pink Guy takes his jeans off to reveal his wrapped up massive penis. It then begins to unravel, before plopping onto the ground.)
Creepy Fantasy AmyOh!.. I never knew it was so massive in stature...
Creepy Fantasy Pink Guy...I know, i know...
Creepy Fantasy Pink Guy..Ready or not, here i cum!
(Pink Guy grabs his massive penis like a fire hoes[sic] and aims it towards Amy. He then begins to shoot massive load of cum towards Amy.)
Creepy Fantasy Pink GuyCumehameha!!
(Amy's giant anime breasts are sprayed with Pink Guy's cum. He then stops fantasizing and looks around him. He then reaches for his crotch and tries to touch his micropenis.)
Cream..Pink Guy, what are you doing?... Are you trying to masturbate again?.... Really?
Pink Guy....What!? NO!! I Wouldn't do that! Man... You're really starting to see things, i think you need to go talk to a Doctor in Grave Town about this... Maybe get on some medication, you know?
Cream...What!? Fuck you!
Pink Guy...I WISH YOU WOULD!!
Cream...You know, you creep me out sometimes...
Pink Guy...Whatever...
Pink Guy...Wait, that reminds me... I finished fixing Shadow's gun, i should probably return it to him..
Page 27
NarroratorMeanwhile
Knuckles...Man, where are those shovels?...
Knuckles..I can't spend too much time here, i need to get back as soon as possible..
Vector..Knuckles? Are you looking for something?
Knuckles..Holy shit, you scared me...
Knuckles..How's it going man?
Vector...Not so good actually...
Knuckles..Yeah, we aren't doing so great either hahaha...
Vector...Hmm, yeah..
Vector..Have you seen Shadow? I need to ask him something..
Knuckles...Uhh, yeah man.. He's out doing some stuff, I'll tell him that you're looking for him.. We're helping Tails catch Lighting Bugs... I'm just looking for another net, do you know where the tools are?
Vector..I think they're in that old shed over there, i think Sonic covered it with brush so it couldn't be seen from the sky..
Vector...Eggman hasn't been around lately, but better safe than sorry i suppose..
Knuckles..Oh ok. Thanks, I'll go get Shadow.. You should probably go wait over there by the campfire..
Vector..Yeah, sounds good.. Thanks Knuckles...
KnucklesNo problem man! I won't be long..
(Vector leaves the area. Knuckles rushes into the hidden shed. He looks around and sees robot parts, hammers, war hammer, boots, gardening equipment, rope and several crates.)
Knuckles...There's the shovels!
Ant Lion..I was about to say, it's pretty obvious.. What, you can't see? Stupid.. Shovels are those weird looking foot gear things right?..
(Knuckles grabs three shovels.)
Knuckles..Oh, yeah i knew that.. Shut up..
(Knuckles knocks over a box that was on the shelf, screws and bolts fly everywhere.)
Knuckles..I have to pick those up or someone will find out that i was here...
Ant Lion..Look at you man! Clumsy ass mother fucker.. Hahaha, pick yo self up foo!
(Knuckles begins to pick up the spilled box's content.)
Knuckles...Oh shit..
Knuckles....Oh no... Sonic's going to propose to Amy!..
Page 28
Knuckles...
Ant Lion..Is that a wedding ring? I seen those before, i could never submit myself to be married to some chick man.. It just ain't my style nigga!.. Tryin to please one queen bitch was too much, so i left that cow and the hill..
Knuckles...Sonic wants to spend the rest of his life with her...
Knuckles...What the hell am i doing!? This is so wrong...
(Knuckles tears up.)
Knuckles..Sonic's my friend.. He's stuck his neck out for me, so many times in the past.. And how do i thank him? By putting them through this!?..
Knuckles...If it weren't for Sonic, i would still be in Eggman's lab...
Knuckles...I'm fucking everything up!.. What the fuck is wrong with me!? This is all going to shit!..
Knuckles...Shit!..What am i going to do!?.. What the hell am i suppose to do now!?...
Knuckles..I gotta focus on the task.. I can't think about this right now..
Knuckles...Shadow's going to be pissed!.. I need to hurry, and get back..
NarroratorMeanwhile
(Amy and Sonic are laying next to each other with a distressed facial expression.)
Amy...
Sonic...Why won't you say anything to me?...
Amy...I think i should tell him..
SonicAmy... TALK TO ME!!
Amy...No, i don't need to.. I know what i need to do...
Amy...Me and you are done.. Get the fuck away from me...
Sonic...Wait, what!? Are you breaking up with me!? But... Why!?...
Amy....Why? WHY!? You don't even speak to me often... You haven't even considered having sex with me, ever since of what happened in the past.. And now? You jump on me, just because you had an argument with a couple of kids?...
Amy..You don't know how long i waited for you to put the past behind you, Sonic.. I wanted you to make love to me... But you wouldn't fucking touch me...
Amy...It made me feel like that happened was all my fault...
Amy...Even now, it's been so long that i stopped waiting.. It was too late, you were just too late... I don't even want you anymore... But knowing all of this, you thought that i wanted to be man handled, like some fucking whore!?
Amy..That's the worst thing you could have done to me.. And you just did it...
Amy..So yes, i am breaking up with you.. I'm tired of trying to fix each other, I'm exhausted... I'm so very tired of trying to explain to you that i can't be fixed... I'm so tired of trying to be the person that you want me to be...
Amy...There's nothing left of me to save, and i can't be responsbile for your happiness any longer... This is the last time that i am going to tell you that i will only hurt you.. So accept this, and leave me to my worst... Or i will hurt you, right now!..
Sonic....Okay Amy.. I'm sorry..
Page 29
(Sonic leaves his sleep area with a depressed facial expression. The landscape is filled with an eerie fog. Sonic notices that there are two figures sitting by the campfire and approaches them.)
Pink Guy...So yeah, if Cream says some shit about me? It's probably because she's on her period.. She's been making up all kinds of lies...
Pink Guy....That bitch..
Vector...I have a heighteneed sense of smell, if she were on her period? Bellieve me, i would know.. Unfortunately...
Sonic...Vector? Pink Guy?.. Why are you guys over?
Pink Guy..Sonic! How's it been dude?
Sonic....
Pink Guy...That bad huh? Well, today just fucking sucks for everybody...
Pink Guy..Anyway, i brought back the keys to the plane.. I'm going to give them to Amy?....
Sonic..That's probably not a good idea... I'll take the keys, don't worry about it..
Pink Guy...Oh? Hmm, ok... Here!
Pink Guy...Damn it...
Sonic...Thank you for fixing the plane Pink Guy.. It means a lot, really..
Pink Guy...Can you guys start calling me by my real name? Or?...
Sonic....Wait, where is Tails and Shadow!?
Pink Guy..So i take that as a no?... Hmm... Well then I'm just going to start calling you the "Blue Guy"
Vector...Uhh, no i haven't seen them.. But i seen Knuckles a bit ago, and he was looking for a net... He said someting about them catching lighting bugs? I don't know...
Vector..I'm here because I'm waiting for Shadow to return, i wanted to ask him something... But i think I'm just going to return to my camp and ask him tomorrow..
Pink Guy..Oh, and you're now the "Green Guy" Doesn't feel good, does it?
Vector..Come on Pink Guy, let's head back..
Sonic...If you see Tails or Shadow, tell them to come home, it's getting late..
Vector..Sure, no problem man..
Pink Guy...Oh! I almost forgot! I fixed Shadow's gun.. Whenever you see him, can you give it back to him?
(Pink Guy hands Sonic Shadow's gun. Sonic with a concerned facial expression.)
Page 30
(Sonic grabs the gun from Pink Guy)
Sonic...Shadow's gun? This gun stopped working whenever we raided one of Eggman's outposts a few months ago.. why did he get Pink Guy to fix it now?
Vector..Takecare Sonic, i hope everything gets better..
Pink Guy...For fucks sake, it's "Blue Guy" now...
Blue Guy...See you later guys..
Sonic...Hmm, we don't have a net..
Sonic..Knuckles only does what Shadow wants, and Shadow knows what kind of tools and equipment that we have in that shed... So why did he send him on a pointless task? Unless, Knuckles was lying to Vector...
(Sonic becomes angry.)
Sonic...Oh no, Shadow went to go beat up them trolls! He needed Tails to show him where they were... Damn it, why wasn't i paying attention!?
NarroratorMeanwhile
(Tails is sitting down with a dead look in his eyes as he stares at the Butter Tits and The Dick Takers' dead bodies.)
Ant Lion?..Dear fox... I see it in your eyes that you aren't taking all of this, very well.. Hm, am i right?
Tails...
Ant Lion?..Can you smell it? The scent of rotting corpses..
Ant Lion?..Yes, at first the scent can be so upsetting, but.. Overtime you learn to accept it, and maybe even enjoy it...
Ant Lion?..Hahaha.. The enjoying part of it all, is not for the lighthearted... Someone like you of course.. But even the wool of a purest white lamb can be dyed in red, surely you know this much, Dear fox..
Ant Lion?..Now, i suppose if these living beings weren't living, would that make you feel less tormented inside for them, hm? But then again, were they truly living at all? Despite them being alive, they could have been wasting their breath.. If so, should you waste your breath on them?
Ant Lion?..Let's assume that they were alive, and that they were truly living... Should you feel any more for their deaths? Dear fox.. Or do you just feel this way towards the bitter end of all living creatures, hm?
Ant Lion?..They caused the weak willed suffering... Should they not deserve to meet their eternal sleep? Hahaha... Do you want them to be silent? Forever... Dear Fox...
Ant Lion?...They will never hurt anyone again, they won't make you cry... They won't hurt the ones that you love... All you have to do is, end their story.. And the world will forget them, just like they will forget you..
Tails..I won't forget them...
Ant Lion?..And what happens when you meet your sleep, hm?.. Will those memories be passed on to another? But, how will they see it through your soul?...
Ant Lion?..How could they hold it to such a regard, that they will pass it on to another before they pass? The world will never find the solution to this fate, this fact.. Though they still try...
Tails...I'll find a way!
Ant Lion?...Hahaha... Oh, Dear fox...
Tails...
NarroratorMeanwhile
Vector...Hold up, Pink Guy..
Pink Guy...What is it, GREEN GUY!?
Vector...I wasn't sure of this before.. I thought i smelled something earlier, but it wasn't that strong.. I figured that it was something that died up wind, but...
Vector...I'm sure of it now, i smell blood!
Page 31
VectorHey, hold up!.. Oh man! My stomach.. Ahhh!!
Pink Guy..You alright!?..
Vector...I don't know, it must have been something i ate..
Vector....I really need to take a shit!.. Oh my, holy hot tar!!
Pink Guy...Yuck! I dont want to know about the steamy, hot tar!..
Pink Guy..Wait Do you think it was the jerky!?
Pink Guy...Yeah, Now that you've mentioned it... I feel it too!..
Vector...Pink Guy! Can you Go away!? I need to go.. You know, Shit!..
Pink Guy..Oh, I gotcha! I'll go and leave you to your mud butt..
Pink Guy..Oh man I'm feeling it too!.. Oh, I'm gonna dukie all over the place if i don't hurry!..
Pink Guy...Oh no! I feel some liquid on my butthole!...
Pink Guy...I should check..
Pink Guy..Oh thank God, It's just sweat...
Pink Guy..I gotta Get the good leaves this time, not that shit that feels like sand paper... I hate how raw it gets after pressing it against my suck hole..
Vector...Good, he's gone.. Now I should find out where this blood trail leads..
NarroratorMeanwhile
Sonic...I'm almost there... If Shadow hurt those trolls... I don't know what i would do..
Sonic..And he brought Tails!? I don't want him to see violence.. We fought Eggman so he would never have to fight.. Shadow, i told you this!
Shadow...And this is the last of it..
Shadow..Now i need to get back, Knuckles better have those shovels...
Shadow...Shit! Sonic is on his way to the cave... If he realizes the strange arrangement of leaves, he might uncover the blood trail...
Shadow...I need to find a place to hide!..
Sonic...I don't see the trolls anywhere... Maybe they're inside the cave..
NarroratorMeanwhile
Knuckles...Oh man, I've made it back without getting caught!.. That was close...
Ant Lion...Phh, you giants are so large and dumb..I be all swift like the night, trick!
Tails...Hey! How did you get over there so fast!?
Ant Lion...Hm? Who me? Bitch, i was on his shoulder when we went to grab them giant sticks..
Tails....
Page 32
NarroratorMeanwhile
Vector...There is fresh blood under these leaves.. From the look of this leaf tail, there's a lot of blood..
Vector..I guess it was important enough to try to cover it up, that tells me that it wasn't just some random animal attack of some kind...
Vector...Which side of the trail should i follow? I guess i should follow the trail where the blood is most potent?... But if the body was dragged, then the blood wouldn't be as strong at the end of the trail.. Hmm..
NarroratorMeanwhile
Shadow...Sonic entered the cave, this is my chance to escape!
Sonic....Wow.. These kids were living in very poor conditions...
Sonic...There's an overfilled bucket of poop over there in the corner!...
Sonic...Why is there only one bed?.. And why is there poop in it!?..
Sonic...Is that a moldy Hot Pocket?... Gees, it has hairs growing on it....
Sonic....Oh my God! My eyes are burning from all of the urine in the air!...
Sonic...
Sonic...These kids need help!.. And other than that moldy Hot Pocket, i didn't see any food in their cave...
Sonic...I might have missed Tails and Shadow, they might be back by now.. I should return, whenever i get there i should grab some food to give these kids... It's the right thing to do... I should still have some jerky left!..
NarroratorMeanwhile
Ant Lion...Man, this reminds me when i was being forced to mine the walls... They made my skinny ass carry these fucking builders every day... And then i got mixed up in the military, and before i knew it! I was fighting these giant ass fucking termites...
Ant Lion...Oh, wait... I think that was the plot to Antz.. Nevermind dudes, i fucked up..
Knuckles..Oh Shadow! Took you long enough to get back... Did you take care of the trail?
Vector...What in the world are you guys up to!?...
Scripted Portion
Page 33
Knuckles...Oh, shit!.. Vector, how's it going man!?
Vector...What the hell are you guys doing!? I smell blood every fucking where...
Knuckles...You can smell blood? Oh yeah, i forgot about that... Hahaha..
Vector...Who are those people over there!? Why are you burring them!?..
Knuckles...Woah man, calm down! They're just trolls..
Knuckles...Why are they dead!? What happened here!?...
Tails....Shadow killed them....
Vector...What!? And what the fuck is Tails doing here!?... Have you guys lost your fucking minds!?...
Knuckles....
Ant Lion...Fuck yeah we lost our fucking minds nigga!!
Vector...Is that a fucking ant!?... You guys better start explaining, NOW!! Once Sonic finds out that you brought Tails to go and kill a couple of stupid fucking harmless kids, he's going to have a shit storm!..
Vector...Seriously, what the fuck were you thinking!?
Knuckles...They were giving Tails some trouble, so we took care of it! It's all good man...
Ant Lion..We took care of those mother fuckers good too, you should have seen it... It was so sick! FUCK YEAH!! YEAAAAHH!!!
Vector...NO!! Haven't you been on the fucking internet!? You're suppose to ignore them!
Vector..We're not suppose to draw attention to us, and you thought it would be a good idea to kill two people!?... Wow... Just, wow...
Vector...Tails, are you ok? You shouldn't have to see this.. Sonic didn't want you to get blood on your hands man..
Tails....
Knuckles...Oh, Tails didn't do any of the killing, it was all Shadow! Don't worry..
Ant Lion...Yeah, calm your vag dude..
Vector...He still shouldn't have fucking seen it, Knuckles!!.. What the fuck is wrong with you?..
Vector...I don't know how I'm suppose to react to this.. They weren't our enemies, Eggman is the only one we need to worry about... This, is not acceptable!...
Vector...Bug net my ass, i can't believe i fell for that stupid shit...
Knuckles...I thought it was pretty clever, hahaha...
Vector...And where is Shadow!? I need to talk to him, right now!..
(Shadow reveals himself from the shadows.)
Shadow...God damn it...
Page 34
Vector...What the Fuck Shadow!? You brought Tails!? Really!?... What was going through your head!?...
Shadow..Come on! You're not Sonic, don't act like you are.. I mean, shit! Is everyone too blind to see that Sonic's approach hasn't worked!? Eggman is still alive..
Vector...We don't need anymore trouble! We already have Eggman to worry about, and you want to start a fight with some trolls!?..
Vector..We don't know anything about them!.. What if this starts another war!?..
ShadowWrong! ...You are the one who doesn't know shit about them.. I am fully aware of what they're capable of, and it's not a problem..
Shadow..For one, no one is going to find their bodies... They can't smell blood like you can.. And even if they do happen to discover our location, I'll take care of it..
Shadow..And for Eggman, I've reached my limit of being a fucking coward! If Sonic doesn't want to take Eggman out, then i will.. You want to be rid of a problem? You have to take care of it yourself, Vector..
Shadow...Hiding and pretending to live a peaceful life is nothing but bullshit! It's a lie! We keep acting like that we aren't being forced to live this way.. I'm not submitting myself to this any longer..
Vector....
Shadow...What happens when Eggman finally finds us!? ...And you know that he will.. What will we do? Run again!? No! Fuck that... I'm done playing around with this shit...
Shadow..I fully intend to kill that fat piece of shit myself..
Vector...I understand what you're saying, i want us all to have a normal life one day... And the only way to do this is to take care of Eggman... But It's not worth it if our loved ones get hurt in the process, is it? You may not care much, but everyone else does..
Shadow...You're getting it all wrong... I'm doing this because i care... I'm taking it upon myself to rid our enemies, so the rest of you can live your peaceful life...
Vector...But you brought Tails.. If you're taking it upon yourself, then why did you make him watch!?..
Shadow...Tails has been pampered and sheltered... Do you think it will be like this forever? He needs to be prepared ahead of time.. Currently, Eggman would use Tails to get to us..
ShadowHe's weak! And he needs to grow up and start taking all of this seriously.. He needs to know how to take care of himself..
Vector....I still think we should try and convince Sonic.. Going behind his back isn't right... Also, i don't think you're taking into consideration of how much Sonic did for us... We can't just betray him like this...
ShadowHm.. Vector... If Sonic weren't in such denial, then he would be willing to get shit done... But he won't listen to a thing i have to say!..
Shadow...He would rather wait until it's too late.. Think about it, what if our guards were down? You're afraid to lose the people you care about right? If you follow Sonic, you'll lose everyone...
Shadow..Once Eggman finds us, and it is only a matter of time... He will make sure not to fuck up! He'll Probably ambush us or attack when we're all sleeping... That's what i would do if i were him.. I don't know about you, but i don't want to be back in his fucking lab!..
Shadow...Picture Cream and Tails, being experimented on again... Picture Amy there...
Vector....
Shadow...If you truly want to protect them, then shouldn't you be willing to fight or die for them!?.. It's time for you to make that decision for yourself, Vector...
Shadow...Sonic want's Eggman dead more then any of us, but he just can't do it! ...But we can... We don't have to tell him about what we're doing here...
Shadow...I need your help, please join us so we can finished this.. So we can all finally live in peace!
Vector....Shadow, can i talk to you alone? There's something i need to ask you...
NarroratorMeanwhile
Amy....What do you want? I told you to leave me alone...
Sonic...There's something i have to tell you...
Amy..What?
Sonic...I can't find Tails and Shadow...
Page 35
Amy....What!? You can't find Tails!?..
Sonic...
Amy...You better go find him, NOW!! And if Shadow laid a finger on him, i will kill him...
Sonic...Shadow wouldn't do that to Tails...
Amy...Listen to yourself Sonic... You're talking about Shadow... He has wanted nothing but destruction since we met him! Stop acting so ignorant to him...
Sonic...I'll find Tails, he might be in Grave Town...
Amy...I don't care, just go find him!!
NarroratorMeanwhile
Shadow...So what did you want to ask me?..
Vector...Uhh, is Knuckles and Amy...
Shadow...Are they what?...
Vector...Are they fucking?..
Shadow....Really?.. Yes, they are...
Vector...Oh...
Vector....I'm leaving...
Shadow....Are you fucking joking!? ...You say you don't want to betray Sonic, yet you want to fuck his Girlfriend?..
Shadow...And to top it off, you're acting like Knuckles just stole away your chances to be with her.. Yet, you're perfectly fine with trying to steal her from Sonic..
Shadow...And you're asking what is wrong with me!?... That's pretty twisted, Vector..
Vector...
(Vector begins to walk away.)
Shadow...Do you want to know the reason why she's cheating on Sonic? And i guess, why she's cheating on you...
(Vector stops.)
Vector....Why?..
Shadow..Are you sure you want me to tell you?
Vector...Yes..
Shadow..Sonic won't allow himself to break up with Amy, and it doesn't matter if Amy breaks up with Sonic, because Sonic won't leave her alone by herself...
Shadow...Amy will never be happy, and because of this? Everyone who loves her is cursed to suffer the same fate...
Shadow...So she has it in her head that if she cheats on him, that he will leave her alone for good..
Shadow...The reason why she's willing to hurt Sonic and push everyone away in order to be all alone is, so that she can finally commit suicide...
(Vectors eyes widen as he is in shock.)
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Shadow..She hasn't gotten around to telling Sonic that she's been cheating.. My guess is that she thinks that it would break him, and it probably would... Imagine finding out that the one you love isn't an innocent little rose, but something else entirely..
Shadow..He intended to marry her in hopes to fix the wreckage, he even bought her a ring.. The thing is, she can't be fixed.. And some ring isn't going to change that.. You can't fix a succubus.. She has no soul to restore..
Vector...Why are you so calm about this?.. You gotta stop her man!.. I can't let her do this!..
Shadow....You don't get it, your feelings are compromised... There is no stopping what she is.. That is why Sonic can't leave her.. That is also why Knuckles can't stop following her like a helpless puppy..
Shadow...That is why every single one of you care about her, so deeply.. That is the curse.. To love what can't be loved, it will only result in pure suffering..
Shadow..And why am i so calm about this? ..Because I've forced myself to sever those feelings, before it was too late... It would have been the end to me, you understand?.. I created the immunity! She's aware of this, she despises me for knowing who she truly is...
Shadow...I moved on, and you should too... Leave her to parish..
ShadowYou should listen to me... Hopefully it's not too late for you, like it is for Sonic and Knuckles..
Vector...
Vector...I think you just want her for yourself!!
Shadow...Sigh...
Shadow...Did you not hear a fucking word that i just said!?..
Shadow..I've already had some of that and believe me, i regret it!..
Vector...Fuck you Shadow!
Shadow...You know what!? ..Amy fucked me real good, so fuck you Vector!
Vector...You asshole!.
Vector...I'm leaving..
Shadow...By all means! But if you leave now, i won't tell you about why she wants to die...
Vector...
Vector....God damn you Shadow...
(Shadow grins.)
NarroratorMeanwhile
(Sonic is rushing towards Grave Town.)
Sonic...I want to believe that Shadow and Knuckles took Tails to the Branch Cranch in Grave Town..
Sonic..But since those kids weren't there at the cave, I'm convinced that Shadow did something.. And i hope that he didn't do something that the old Shadow would do...
Sonic...If they aren't there, then I don't want to waste too much time in Grave Town searching for them... I better do this quick and get back..
NarroratorMeanwhile
(Vector is in complete shock.)
Shadow...So now you know..
Shadow..That's exactly why I'm going to kill him!
Vector...I understand now...
(Vector begins to walk away.)
Vector..Oh and Shadow...
Shadow...What?
Vector...Sonic has your gun..
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Shadow...Damn it... That Pink moron! I told him to give it directly to me..
Shadow...If Sonic finds out about me killing those stupid fucking trolls? ..Then he will never give me my gun back...
Shadow...Tails is going to bitch out and tell Sonic, i already know that... Hmm... I have to convince him not to, and i know just how to do that..
Tails...Knuckles?..
Knuckles..Yeah buddy, what is it?
Tails...Do you believe that they deserved to die?...
Knuckles...
Knuckles..Honestly?
Shadow...Knuckles, light up a joint.. I need to get high...
Ant Lion...What!? Shit! You guys smoke the chronic stuff? I always wanted to try it!
Knuckles..Oh Shadow, i thought you would never ask!
(Knuckles lights up a joint.)
Shadow...Give it to Tails..
KnucklesHere buddy, try some! It calms your nerves and makes you happy..
Tails...
Tails...I don't want to... Smoking is bad for you...
Knuckles..Nah man, this is weed! It's not the same thing.. It won't hurt you man!
Shadow...Smoke it, stop wasting time..
Tails....
Shadow...I took care of your problem, the least you can do is smoke a harmless joint.. It's going to make you feel better.. So take it, and smoke it..
Tails...Okay...
(Tails takes a hit of the joint)
TailsCough...Cough...Cough...
Knuckles...Hahaha.. That's hardcore, Tails!..
Ant Lion...Come on, my turn!
Shadow...So Tails, how do you feel now? Tell me..
Tails...I feel weird..
Ant Lion..Damn... He's so high, and i have to wait... Fuck this shit man!
(Shadow quickly approaches Tails and grabs Tails by the fur on his chest. He then lifts him up against a tree. Shadow glares at Tails.)
Tails....
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(Tails is in shock.)
Knuckles..Woah! What the fuck are you doing Shadow!?..
Shadow...If you tell Sonic about what happened here!? Then we'll have to take a walk back to this location, so you can dig your own hole!
(Knuckles rushes over to Shadow and Tails. He grabs Shadow's arm.)
Knuckles...Let him go! I understand what you did to the trolls but you can't do this to Tails man!..
Shadow...Don't fucking touch me! This little rat has to learn how to grow up and keep his fucking mouth shut!
Knuckles...I'm sorry Shadow, but i can't let you do this..
(Knuckles holds his arm back and makes a fist. Knuckles punches Shadow in the stomach. Shadow is winded and drops Tails.)
Shadow....
(Shadow falls to his knees and spits out blood.)
Shadow...What the hell Knuckles!? Why did you hit me!?..
Knuckles..Come on, you know why... You just threatened to kill Tails if he rats us out.. You can't do shit like that man..
Tails....
Shadow....You're right.. I don't know what i was doing...
Shadow..Tails, ..Forgive me... It's just been a stressful day, are you ok?..
Tails...Yeah I'm fine, it didn't hurt..
(Shadow stands up but he's still holding his stomach.)
Shadow...Good, i wasn't trying to hurt you man..
Shadow..Come on guys, let's finish this.. I don't want to stay out here longer than we need to be..
(Shadow walks over and grabs a shovel.)
Knuckles..We cool man?
Shadow...No, we're good.. I fucked up..
Knuckles...High shovel?
(Shadow smiles.)
Shadow...High shovel..
(Knuckles and Shadow clash shovel ends.)
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Shadow...Pass me that joint..
Knuckles..Hahaha, he's hogging the shit now...
Ant Lion...HIT ME!! HIT ME!!
(Knuckles smokes the joint.)
Knuckles..Oh i forgot you were there..
(Knuckles blows smoke in Ant Lion's face.)
Ant Lion...Ohhhh yeah... That's the mother fucking stuff right there...
Shadow...Alright, let's get to work!..
NarroratorMeanwhile
(Sonic makes it to Grave Town.)
Sonic...Knuckles is here, so the only place that i have left to check is the Branch Cranch...
Sonic..They should know better, we all agreed not to risk going into town unless we're running low on supplies...
Sonic....They're not here...
(Sonic makes it to the Branch Cranch and looks around.)
Sonic...I need to sit down....
(Sonic sits down on a stall.)
Rudy...What can i get you Sonic? It's been awhile. How's life in the country?
Sonic...Hi Rudy.. It's not going too well actually... I'm looking for Tails, have you seen him by any chance?..
Rudy...I'm afraid not sweetie.. I'll keep an eye out for him though...
Sonic...Thank you..
Sonic..I'll have two chili dogs and a Capt. Hook's rum please..
Rudy..Coming right up hun, you hitting the drinks tonight huh? That bad i see..
Sonic...
Rudy..It's on the house!..
Sonic..What? No i can't accept that..
Rudy..Don't mention it! Your food will be done shortly!
Sonic...Thank you Rudy..
Sally...Sonic!?.. I can't believe it's you...
NarroratorMeanwhile
Knuckles...Almost done.. Man, that took awhile digging the hole for the fat guy...
Shadow..Hmm...
Knuckles...By the way Shadow, i'm getting a strange feeling... It's almost like..
Shadow..Yes, I'm fully aware..
Shadow...We're being watched..
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Ant Lion...I think ya'll niggas just paranoid... Quit playin, quit playin...
Knuckles..Who do you think it is Shadow? I don't think it is anyone that we know... I'm pretty sure that if it were Sonic or Vector again, they would have already approached us..
Shadow..You're right, it's definitely not a friend.. Hmm..
Shadow..Let's act like we haven't noticed anything.. I don't really care to start anything at this time.. Hopefully this stranger isn't a problem..
Knuckles...Though.. This stranger will probably be one, considering the circumstances that we're in..
Shadow..Yeah, be on your guard.. If anything happens, i still have my knife..
(Knuckles begins to show signs of panic, as he begins to sweat.)
Knuckles...Oh man..
Shadow...Hmm...
Shadow..I'll come up with a plan.. But let's just hurry this up...
NarroratorMeanwhile
Sally...Hahahaha!..
Sonic..Haha.. I know right? And when we pulled him out of the sinkhole, he had the groundhog attached to his face... Espio sure likes to get himself into stupid situations..
Sally...Wow.. That's crazy..
(There's a person wearing a robe in the distance, watching Sonic and Sally. The next panel reveals the person in the robe to be Nack the Weasel, as he has a grin on his face.)
NackOh... I think i found myself a prize!.. Eggman is going to love this.. Hahaha...